I'm really into asian looking animals
I don't usually arrange sex via text message
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
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