Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
How many fucks given?
0.12846
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
well, you know. whores of a feather.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
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