Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
