Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
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