and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
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