I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
17 year olds will be the death of me.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
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