By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Randomize
