My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
your like the ambassador to my penis.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
