arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
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