OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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