Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize