People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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