I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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