Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Randomize