just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
