Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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