that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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