like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
