I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
