Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
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