I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
