Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
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