i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
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