i need an iv and a liver transplant
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
my being single is dangerous.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
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