Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
