i don't like sucking hair
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Randomize
