oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
