New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Randomize
