Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
