Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
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