did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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