The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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