It's like God shit irony all over that family
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Randomize
