What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Randomize
