Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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