Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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