you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
All the doctor said was why
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
Randomize
