If that was your dad, he is hot
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
Randomize
