I don't usually arrange sex via text message
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
You have to summon your inner elephant
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
