we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Randomize