BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
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