All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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