all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Randomize
