i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
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