she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Randomize