Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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