Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Randomize
