they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Randomize
