she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
