no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
