Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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