She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
I love having hate sex.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize