Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
my shit smells like andre
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Randomize
