I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Randomize
