he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
