She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Randomize
