The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Randomize
