i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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