Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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