my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
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